fellow patriots

i'm home, got home at 8ish last night.
and i'm so glad to be here. you don't realize how much you miss a place until you're gone from there for a while.
it's just very soothing to be sleeping in my own bed and showering on my own time in my own shower.

i haven't updated for my journal recently because i've been too busy / not motivated enough to actually do it.
but some things i definitely remembered from the rest of the week worth mentioning:

-open mic/ poetry slam night was fabulous - harmonicas, guitars, poetry, singing, piano, play-reading, etc...
-every day in acting, part of the time usually at the end of our 2hr/45min class is for one or two people to do their monologues that they auditioned with for the entire class and we critique, etc and mike directs on how to change by using different techniques. including having 3 dudes hold a girl down while she said her monologue and struggled to stand. and sitting a girl with her back to the audience or turning the lights completely off, etc. so i volunteered on tues to do my monologue on weds. and because i didn't know we needed one on the first day, i auditioned with my annie sullivan one because it's still memorized, but i've used it for so many auditions and i'm rather tired of it...which sucks because i'm stuck with it now and have to re-evaluate it AGAIn. anyways, i did it once, and then he grabbed a chair and sat me down in it in front of the class. first he asked me for my given circumstances, my who/what/where/when/why/how and then told me to close my eyes and envision what the place (asylum) looked like and what the smells were, what the weather was, etc
then he blindfolded me and told me to start again. a few lines into it, i hear a huge crash to my left and feel the wind from its proximity. i continue through it and hear another one. and then i feel someone lightly stroking my hair and fingertips going up and down my arms. and then i am roughly dragged across the room and shoved into a closet, still blindfolded, still saying my monologue. the door is closed on me and then i hear slams on it and rattling and i begin to sob as i'm speaking, because i'm genuinely frightened and because i'm connecting with annie. the door is opened and i'm dragged back out and thrown into the chair again and continue crying and speaking and finally i'm done. i did it a few times within all these actions. and mike whips off the blindfold and i'm facing a completely new direction and the stage lights are on dimly, with no overheads, and my classmates are all staring at me in shock and mike says "good, better. have a seat" in effect. it was crazy. i blew my nose and wiped my face and sat back down.

it was good, really good. i'm learning how to key into those emotions without all of the fucking frights.

today i went to kacper's with matt/nick and was so glad to see them and then met brondi/seth and swam and then went to ice age 3D and then home to my house with matt for dinner with the rents/sister and to east campus for disc golf till nightfall. what a nice day.

and tomorrow will be even better, what with the ENO FEST and all! i thought i wouldn't be able to make it, but now i can and it's oh so exciting. i haven't missed one in a while.

sleep